This is quite strangely one of my last posts for a while, as I am on the brink of taking what I am calling a healing sabbatical. In other words, I am taking the rest of this year off to dive headlong into the deep healing of my long-embroiled body.
Having struggled the last 7 years with chronic health issues, since contracting amoebic dysentery late in 2006, I have finally found the right doctor and tapped the necessary bravery and guts–no pun intended–to embark on truly healing my body from the inside out. This is no small feat, as I have just learned from an ENORMOUS blood draw and a slew of other tests that my body is indeed compromised and limited in its capacity to detox, function, and thrive beautifully; and that I might have some chronic viral, infectious, and auto-immune stuff going on to boot.
After hearing the news earlier this week, I would be lying to say I wasn’t shocked, blue, fearful, anxious, and just a little bit relieved that what I have intuited all these years is actually showing up, meaning we now have solid evidence that some things are just not right in my body!
Ultimate cliché proven true: “The Body Doesn’t Lie.”
Hence, here I am contemplating this sabbatical, poised to take on (and take in) what is required to tame my reactivity, sensitivity, and ongoing struggles with belly, head, limbs, organs, and skin. This leads me straight up to the question of how to be and sit with the unfolding of my healing journey, how to authentically observe how this all plays out without going nuts and being totally preoccupied with every nuance along the way.
The mantra I have come to realize is this: STOP FIGHTING.
Or rather: ACCEPT CIRCUMSTANCES EXACTLY AS THEY ARE.
This is actually the healing antidote I would like to offer any and all of you who might be struggling with your own unique stories of health and wellness. Basically what I am coming to terms with is that my hardest work won’t be in digesting the various remedies I will be prescribed, but in digesting my situation as a less-than-perfectly-healthy being, one who is at times beleaguered by not feeling/looking well at all, and to let go right in the middle of this space, to allow for it, accept it, make peace with it, and literally relax into it. (This of course while acting steadfastly and doing whatever physiological protocols necessary for feeling better!)
Still, I stick by my assertion that to stop battling the reality that I am/we are not wholly healed is the KEY and ironic ingredient in any recipe for healing.
Why? Because peace and acceptance are not at all dependent on ultimate wellness in the implied fantasized future nor on killing off and getting beyond whatever ails us today.
No, peace is quite touchingly possible right now, even in the dark moments, and it is often the most palpable, tender, and openly experienced when we are closer to rock bottom than to lofty top.
How’s that for a healing recipe?
Sending out love, light, and tons of peaceful energy in the coming months…