It is often precisely what we miss in our young lives that we come to intensely value and emphasize as adults. For me, this quality is SAFETY.
What is it for you?
I’m not talking about physical safety per se, but about the sense of genuine emotional and psychic safety that we require so profoundly as infants, toddlers, kids, and then teenagers coming into our own in this world. Especially now, as a parent in my own right, do I appreciate how pivotal providing safety for our children is.
Why safety? Because let’s face it, the world is totally de-stabilizing. Do you agree?
I am convinced that one of the hardest and most key lessons is that we are constantly, all of us, being up-rooted and thrown off our centers. Life just seems to happen this way. Some of our deepest work in order to thrive is in finding and re-finding our balance, in staying upright despite life’s constant swells.
How do you keep yourself stable and feeling safe amidst these disruptions?
Due to the volatility of the house I grew up in, I honestly never experienced any sure, solid, and reliable ground. Wow has this become the hub of my life’s project! Fast-forward some 30 odd years, and I am still at it, fastidiously manifesting the safety I never had.
What is your life’s project?
Ironic too that I am writing this post in the middle of the night out at the beach where, truth be told, I feel more vulnerable than I do when we are in the fortress of our apartment building in the city. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to live in a house with all its rickety sounds and the night winds lashing the windows, and given how utterly pregnant I am, this feeling of vulnerability is even more pronounced.
The night, of course, has a way of disarming us, don’t you think?
It certainly did when I was a child woken night after night by the screaming in my parents’ room, or when pregnant with our first child some 8 years ago I had the first panic attack of my life, rooted totally in not feeling safe.
How about you? Does safety, or lack thereof, play a significant role in your life?
The last affirmation of the Healthy Pregnancy CD that I’ve been listening to over the past 30 weeks is that my baby and me are perfectly, utterly safe. I can finally confirm this deep inside my bones: I am—plus my two sweet kids down the hall and the baby in my belly—really and truly safe. This very plain, very simple phrase has indeed become my signature mantra.
What’s yours?
(I so hope this post was enlightening for you! Would love your feedback!)
In sweet safety,
Maggie
Sounds like you are doing what many do that is counter productive to your health and that’s worry. I just discovered a great pbs show first thing this morning (Healing Quest) that helped me turn off my stress that I’ve been under. It said to not talk about what you are worried about. Instead focus on calming yourself down with meditation, music, whatever you relax too. I could tell you why this was so valuable to me but talking about it makes it worse. I have my first bald spot on my head to prove it. lol. Find whatever works. You can overcome and focus on your strengths. Shshshsh : )
I love your blogs. It’s your willingness to speak about what makes you vulnerable that touches me deeply. I too had a similar childhood, but for me the most profound scar was the need for acceptance. This struggle continued through my adulthood, until I learned to accept myself first. Now I find more contentment each day within and have stopped looking outside myself for the answers. Thank you for your sweet blogs!